Funny SMS Messages - You Can Impress Everybody By Your Talent , Looks And Intelligence And If That''s Not Enough

A man said to his wife one day, "I don''t know how you can be


so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain."

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

Funny SMS Messages - 1 Dafa 1 molvi movie dekh raha tha

Chor 1 ghar me chori karne gaya, tijori par likha tha "TIJORI KO TODNE KI JARURT

NAI,452 No. LAGAO AUR SAMNE WALA LAL BATAN DABAO,TIJORI KHUL JAYGI" Jaise hi


button dabaya alarm baja aur police aayi. Jate waqt chor seth se bola"AAJ MERA

INSANIYAT SE VISHWAS UTH GAYA "! . . . . .

Funny SMS Messages - Kabhi Karachi Bhi

1 chutki

NASWAR

ki qemat tum kya jano

Pathan k sr ka taj hoti hai1 chtki

NASWARH

ar pan ki dukan pe aam hoti hai1 chtki

NASWAR

Sasti se sasti or mehngi se mehngi hoti hai1 chtki

NASWAR

Difrent green color main dastiab hoti hai1 chtki

NASWAR

Har jaga beth kr lagai jasakti hai1 chtki

NASWAR

Nashe ki shuruat hoti hai1 chtki

NASWAR

Plastic & rubber band ka sath hoti hai1 chtki

NASWAR

Pathan ki pukar

Khane ko tayyarAur kuch nahin bas1 chtki NASWAR ;->

Funny SMS Messages - Lamha koi suhana sath ho na ho_

Sardar: tum pathano ne kabhi koi Qabil-e-fakhar kaam bhi kia hai?

Pathan: oye tum ko pata hi nhai hai..

Pakistan men pehla world cup kon laya?

Imran khan,

Pakistan me Atom bomb kon laya?

Dr. Qadeer khan,

World cupT-20 kon laya?


Younus khan

Or to or Pakistan bnanay wla kon tha?

Quaid-e-Azam khan ;-)

Love SMS Messages - Love Is About

Uss k honton ka tabassum rahay qayaim “YA RUB”

Uss k jeevan main khushiyon ka basaira ker day…

Tu meri “KARB” ki raaton ko bhalay khatam na ker,

Uss ke her shaam k aakhir mai “SAWAIRA” ker day.

Uss k “DIL” k kisi konay main jaga day mujh ko…

Uss ki “AANKHON” ko meray sapnon say khaira ker day

Yeh meray dil ki dua hay “MERA MOLA SUN LAY”…


Saaaari duniya say chupa ker “USSAY MERA KER DAY”

Funny SMS Messages - 2 ghantay aatay ki line mai

''A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They''ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."''

Funny SMS Messages - main bewakoof main

Agar buses k naam Pakistani actress pr hote..

REEMA over load hogae,

SAIMA k neeche aa kr 1 rahgeer halaak,

Accident me SANA ka front miror toot gaya,

Tez raftaari k ba''is, LAILA mor kat''te hue ulat gae,

MEERA pr sawar ho jao,

SHAHIDA MINI ka tyre puncture hogaya,

NIRMA thuk gae,

RESHAM ko loot lya gaya,

BABRA SHARIF ki bearing rod toot gae,

NIGHAT pr pathrao,

Aur ANJUMAN ko jala dia gaya... ;->

Funny SMS Messages - Hey Dude A Piece Of Advice For You

''After the Announcement the final result of class, father asked his son.

Father: Beta Tumhara result Kesa Raha?

Son: Abbu, Teacher ne kaha ke Zyada tar bachay fail hain.

Father: Beta Aapka Result kiya Aaya hai?

Son: Abbu, Woh jo Dr uncle hai na unka beta bhi Fail ho gaya hai.

Fathar: Tumhara Result Kiya aaya hai?

Son: Abbu, Woh jo mera Dost hai na jiske Papa Engineer hain na, woh bhi fai ho gaya hai.


Father: Abay Tu bata, Tera result Kiya aaya hai.

Son: Mai kiya Allama ki Aulaad hon jo pass ho jaonga.''

Funny SMS Messages - Itni SHIDDAT Se

Itni SHIDDAT Se

Itni SHIDDAT Se Maine Larki Patane Ki KOSHISH Ki Hai

Ke Har AMA Ne Mujhe Apni BETI Ka HAATH Dene Ki SAAZISH Ki Hai

Kehte Hain Ke Agar Tum Sache DIL Se Larki Patana Chaho

To Puri KAYENAT Tumhare Liye Larki Patane Mein Lag Jati Hai

Hamare Larke Larki Ke Chakkar Mein Bhi FILMO Ki Tarha END Mein Sab Theek Ho Jata Hai

HAPPY ENDINGS

Aur Agar Sab Theek Na Ho To Chakkar Khatam Nahi Hua

Kyunke Uski Choti BEHEN Abhi Baqi Hai Mere DOST . . . . ;->

Funny SMS Messages - Aik Bacha Boht

''Raton ko uth kar,


Khayalon se ho kar,

Yadon me kho kar,

Tumhe kya khabar hy,

Me apne KHUDA se kya mangta hon,

Viraano me ja kar

Daman phe''la kar

Anson baha kar

Tumhe kya khabar hy.

Me apne KHUDA se kya mangta hon,

Tum to kaho ge,


SANAM mangta hon,

JANAM mangta hon,

tum to kaho ge,

Kisi DIL RUBA ki,

Kisi DIL NASHIN

ki wafa manga hon,

Ye B ghlt hy

Wo B ghlt hy

Me apne KHUDA se Sirf

"LIgHT" ane ki Dua mangta hon.;-)''

Funny SMS Messages - pathan england mai club me

Amazing Home Remedies

A Mousetrap placed on

top of Ur alarm clock wl

prevent U from rolling over

n going back to sleep

after U hit the alarm off ..

Have a bad Tooth Ache ?

Smash Ur Thumb with a

Hammer n U wl 4get abt


the Tooth Ache ..

For High Blood Pressure

Sufferers:

Simply cut Urself n bleed

for a few minutes, thus

reducing Pressure in

Veins ..

If U ''ve Bad Cough ?

Take a large dose of

Jamal-Gota then U wl b


afraid to cough ... ;)

Funny SMS Messages - a sweet demand by a kid

The most funniest newz in todays current affairz. . . . . .

The shoe thrown at bush by muntazir Zaidi happenz

to be made of sialkot, pakistan. . .

So President Bush Security Team haz Suspected

Pakistan to be part of da event. . .

A team of Specialst will soon

Vist Sialkot for further investigationz . . . .

Funny SMS Messages - ''Acha silla dia to ne mere piyar ka"

Dekhte Hi Dekhte Kya Zamana Agaya,

K Har Kisi k Hath Me Mobile Aa gaya,

JisNe Kabhi Larki Na PataYi Ho''''BABU'''',

Wo Gandu b Date Maar k Aa gaya,

Bari Aag Lagti Hay Us Waqt dimagh Me,

Koi Kahe k Teri Bachi Ka Number Mere Pas Aa gaya,

Ye Ajab zaleel panay Ka Part Hy''''BABU'''',

Pehle 100 Ka Card Aata Tha Ab EasyLoad b Aa gaya,

Ab Poori Raat Sirf Ek Rupay Me Baat,

Saare TharkiYo Ko Ye Package Pasand Agaya;-

Funny SMS Messages - A Diet Coke

Main kitna tum py marta hun,

Aur kitni Mohabat krta hon.

Bas ik shikayt hai tum sy,


Main jab bhi perhnay lagta hon.

Tum chupky sy ajati ho,

Aur aky mujhy behkati ho.

Na jany kiya smjhati ho,

Aur apny pass bulati ho.

Yeh soch zra,

Ae mairi jaan!

Kuch kaam bhi hai is duniya ke,

Har waqt ki chahat theek nahi.

Aghosh teri to phir bhi sahi,


Lekin yeh waqt hai perhny ka.

Ja aj mujhy tu perhnay dy,

Ae NEEND..!

Mujhy kuch krny Dy.

Funny SMS Messages - Ye Sang-e-Mar Mar Sa Tarasha Gora Badan

Arrange Marriage:

5,00,000 Shadi Par.

1,00,000 Haq Meher.

Aur


Shadi ki Muktalf Rasmon Pe Rs.50,000

Shadi k 3 Dino Ka Khrcha Rs.6,50,000

Yani Shadi k 1 Din ka Kharcha Rs.216666.6667

1 Ghantay ka Rs.9027.77778

Or 1 Minute ka Rs.150.462963

.

Ufff! Tauba Tauba.

Love Marriage:

Sirf 120 Rupay Ka Stamp Paper.

.


.

A Massege From: The Students Of Accounting & Finance.

Invest at Your Own Risk.

Funny SMS Messages - Aik molvi ki bivi marr gai,

A-Aik lady apny niwasay ko lori de kar sulanay ki koshish kar rahi thi


"so ja meray "DIPLOMA" so ja,lal plang per so ja, ......

2nd lady yekaisa nam tum ne bachay ka rakha hy?

1st lady mn ne apni beti ko college "DIPLOMA" lenay k liay dakhil karwaya tha wo college se ye le kar aye

jy ab isay "diploma" na bolon to kia bolon..?

B- Wife I yhink our daughter is in love withsomeone

H''band "how do u know"?

Wife B''coz she is not asking for pocket money.......

C- Boy: chalo kisi sunsan jaga chaltay hn...

Girl: Tum aesi wesi harkat to nhi karogay..?

Boy:bilkul nhi...


Girl:to phr rahnay do janay ka ki faida???

Sad SMS Messages - Tamaam din khud ko

Chehra Koi Bhi Aankh Mein Thehra Na Phir Kabhi,
Dil Ne Kisi Bhi Shakhs Ko Chaha Na Phir Kabh,
Rootha Zara Si Baat Pe Uth Kar Chala Gaya,
Aisa Gaya K Laut k Aaya Na Phir Kabhi,
Kuch Youn Mila Ikhlak Se k Bus Ishq Ho Gaya,
Wo Ajnabi Tha? Kon Tha? Socha Na Phir Kabhi..!!!

Funny SMS Messages - Thapr marne pr nraz wife

Customer : Waiter, there''s a dead beetle in my soup.Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer : Waiter, there''s a fly in my soup.Waiter : That''s all right, Sir, he won''t drink much.

Customer : Waiter, there''s a fly swimming in my soup.Waiter : So what! do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer : Waiter, what''s the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?Waiter : I wouldn''t know, Sir, I''m a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.Waiter : Funny? But why aren''t you laughing?

Friendship SMS Messages - Never shall I forget

I’m crying,

The tears are slowly going,

I’ve got a problem,

I can find a way out,

I’ve got a friend.

My friend has got a friend.


I’m a friend with my friend.

A friend is not a friend,

Without a friend,

That’s my friend,

My friend,

Who’s got a friend.

Funny SMS Messages - Before Marriage

Yash raj ki wife ki delivery k waqt wife ney poocha k baby ka name kya hoga?

Yash raj says : DHOOM

After few mints he saw many children his wife has & he ask doctor : ye sab kya hai

Doctor: sir ye DHOOM 1 OR YE 2 YE 3 ,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 DHOOM again ,again ,again, and again

Friendship SMS Messages - Har roz 1 naya

Sochne Ki Tumhe Kia Zaroorat Hai,

Pukara Hai Jo Naam Tumhara,

Pukarne Wala Koi Gair Nahin,

Ek Pyara Sa Anjana Sa Dost Hai Tumhara

main bhool jaoon usay kaisi bat krty ho FARAZ

kabi din nay bi aaghaz kia hay soOraj kay bhghair

Hum"raat k "Sitaray"hain,

"Tanhaiyon"k maray hain,

"Tum"hum ko "Thokra"do Beshak

magar

"Hum"phir bhi "dost"tumhare hain
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Funny SMS Messages - its a scary story

Bemaar Baap Nay Beittey Say Kaha,Mujhay Jaanwaron K Doctor K Pass Lay Jaow

Beitta,Woh Kiun

Baap:Es Liay K Roz Subah Murghay Ki Turah Utth Jatahon

Ghorray Ki Turah Bhaag K Office Jatahon


Gudhay Ki Turah Kaam Karta Hon

Ghar Aa K Sub Par Kutey Ki Tarah Bhounkta Hon

Or Raat Ko Es Bhainss K Saath So Jatahon

Funny SMS Messages - what is the name of bruce lee''s sister in law?

Arrange Marriage:

5,00,000 Shadi Par.

1,00,000 Haq Meher.

Aur

Shadi ki Muktalf Rasmon Pe Rs.50,000

Shadi k 3 Dino Ka Khrcha Rs.6,50,000

Yani Shadi k 1 Din ka Kharcha Rs.216666.6667

1 Ghantay ka Rs.9027.77778

Or 1 Minute ka Rs.150.462963

.

Ufff! Tauba Tauba.

Love Marriage:

Sirf 120 Rupay Ka Stamp Paper.

.

.

A Massege From: The Students Of Accounting & Finance.

Invest at Your Own Risk.

Funny SMS Messages - mummy dady and baby sitting together

Choto:MoM Ap Jab Guest K

Samnay Khana Lagati Ho To Teen

RotiaAN Rakhti Ho To Wo Do Khata Hai

Phr Tum Teesri Kyun Rakhti Ho?

MoM:Teesri Roti Hmari Izat Hoti Hai. .


Ek Din Mehman Aya Khana

Khatay Waqt Choto Pas§ Betha Tha,

Mehman Ne Jab Dosri Roti

Khanay K Baad Teesri Roti Uthai,

To Choto Cheekha Maa. .

Mehman Hmari Izat Per Hath Dal Dia. . .

Funny SMS Messages - Kya Waqt Aagaya Hai!

I wish u lov,i wish u joy,May u hav a baby boy.Wen his hair begin to curl,May u hav a baby girl,Wen she begin to wear pins,May ALLAH giv u twins.Wen they reach d age of four,May u hav many more..U DONT WORK ON ANY SCHEME..May u hav a Cricket Team...AMEEN

Funny SMS Messages - g/f: meri mummy bhi

''Kabi Kabi Dil Chahta Hai Ka Kuch Aisa Hojae:-

Paperz Hon Mger Result Na Aye


Classes Hon Mger Teacherz Ns Ayen

Bus Me Bethain College Na Aye,

Picnic Pr Jaey Mger Wapis Na Aye,

Gaadi Chalean Magar Petrol Na Delwaen

Kabi Kabi Parhain Mger Pass Hojayen

Haftey Me Chaar Chaar Din Hon Takay Itwar Jaldi Aye!

Funny SMS Messages - "PAKISTAN FRIENDSHIP COURT

"PAKISTAN FRIENDSHIP COURT

Sare gawaho or bayano ko madde nazar rakhte hue

"PAKISTAN FRIENDSHIP COURT"

ki dfa

"SACHI DOSTI"

ke tahat hamari

"DOSTI KI ADALAT"

tumhe hamre har janam ka dost manti hai aur tumheumar bhar dosti nibhane ka hukam deti ha.

WE WILL BE FRIÉÑD$ FÖREVER

Bolo sazamanzur hai?

have nice Day

Love SMS Messages - Love Is Common

Loving is a feeling that brings both joy and

pain to my heart. Joy from being with you,


being filled with an emotion so deep and

tender that no other feeling can compare.

Pain from knowing that I''m so in love, that

I''m more vulnerable than I''ve ever

Break Up SMS Messages - Waqt guzarta raha

CHAHTON main giley nahi hotey,

ishq main zabtey nahi hotey,

yad kartey hain dil hi dil main tujy,

apne dil main diye jalao"k"ab

ra$ton main diye nahi hotey,


kA$H! hum tum miley nahi hotey.

meri Qismat wo ban tu jaye magr...

Aaj kal mojzay nahi hotay....!

Funny SMS Messages - ''hum gaye the gar un

EK pathan apny Cat say Bhut paryshan Hota HA......

Ek din uski cat ki tabyat kharab hojati ha tu wo kapny lagti ha...

pathan ..doctor k pas jata ha

o docotr sb is ko dhko kab say vibration pay is charging khatam ho tu ya mary...

doctor...ya janwaro ka hospital ha is say mobile market lay jao...Cool

Funny SMS Messages - Vegetable msg...

Nobody''s Like You, Mom

Nobody''s quite like you Mom.

You''re special in every way.

You cheer me up you fill my cup

With tenderness come what may.

Nobody loves me like you Mom.

No matter what I do Good or bad, happy or sad,


You support me You always come through.

Nobody''s equal to you, Mom.

With you in my life, I''m blessed.

I love you so, and I want you to know

I think you''re the very best!

By Joanna Fuchs

Love SMS Messages - Muddat say ko

Kuch Dur Hamare Sath Chalo

Hum Dil Ki Kahani Keh Dain Ge

Samjhe Na Jise Tum Ankhon Se

Woh Bat Zubani Keh Dain Ge

Pholun Ki Tarah Jab Hounton Pe


Ek Shokh Tabassum Bikhre Ga

Dheere Se Tumhare Kanoun Mein

Ek Baat Purani Keh Dain Ge

Izhare-E-Wafa Tum Kia Jano

Iqrar-E-Wafa Tum Kia Jano

Hum Zikr Karain Ge Ghairun Ka

Aur Apni Kahani Keh Dain Ge

Funny SMS Messages - at a privat party meera was invited

Bankey Mian Ki Qawali Hy Sab Se Nirali

Koi Sun''ne Ya Na Sun''ne Hum Tou Gaaye Ge Qawali...

Zong! 1st Sep Se Balance Check Karne Per Charge Laga Riaaa Hy

Jazz! Gaon Mei Ghanta Package Per Degree Bant Riaaa Hy

Ufone! Her Hafte Naya Ad Bana Riaaa Hy

Warid Glow! Feel Free Ka Nara Laga Riaaa Hy

Telenor Djuice! Tou Din Aur Rat Ko Ek Bana Rahaaa Hy

Bankey Mian Ki Qawali Hy Sab Se Nirali

Koi Sun''ne Ya Na Sun''ne Hum Tou Gaaye Ge

Qawali... =P ;->

Funny SMS Messages - "Intiqam Ka Behtreen

2010.

1 class ka bacha apni Miss se kehta hai.


Mai aap ko kaisa lagta hoon?

Miss: So sweet!

Bacha: To phir mai apne ammi abbu ko aap k ghar kab bhejun.

Miss: Wo kyon?

Bacha: Ta''kay wo hamari baat agay chalayen,

Miss: Ye kya bakwaas hai!

Bacha:

.

Tution parhne k liye..

Funny SMS Messages - Maantay Hain Lahore Lahore Hai

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.

If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

"Congratulations! You''re a free man. Just tell me why didn''t you jump?" asked the doctor.


To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can''t swim!"

Funny SMS Messages - Magistrate

English Cricket Team Is A Weird Pack...
The Thinnest Guy In The Team Is Called BROAD,
The Ugliest Is Called SWANN,
The Guy Behind The Wickets Is Called PRIOR,
The Guy Whose Father Is John Is Called PETER SON,
The Guy Whose Father Is Luke Is Called ANDER SON,
The Slowest Fielder Is TROTT.
But They Got One Right :
The Guy Not Making Any Noise With The Bat Is Called BELL... =P =D

Funny SMS Messages - Do U Knw Wat Is Diffrnce

Types of Girls ( Computer Humor )

CD-ROM GIRLS

She is always faster and faster


EMAIL GIRLS

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense

HARD DISK GIRLS

She remembers everything, FOREVER

INTERNET GIRLS

Difficult to access

MULTIMEDIA GIRLS

She make horrible thing look beautiful

SCREENSAVER GIRLS

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun


RAM GIRLS

She forget about you, the moment turn her off

WINDOW GIRLS

Everyone know that she can"t do a thing right, but no one can

live with out her

VIRUS GIRLS

Also known as "wife"" when you are not expecting her, she comes,

install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to

uninstall her you will lose something, if don"t try you uninstall

her you will lose everything


SERVER GIRLS

Always busy when you need her

Funny SMS Messages - Arz kia hai,

''Husband wanted to call the hospital

to ask about his pregnant wife,

but accidently called the cricket stadium.

He asks, “How’s the situation?”

He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply.

They said, “It’s fine. 3 are out,

hope to get another 7 out by lunch,

last one was a duck!”..:-P''

Funny SMS Messages - Diffrence between

Baap: beta, paper kaisa huwa?

Beta: bus pehla sawal choot gia!

Baap: acha! aur baqi?

Beta: teesra mujhe aata nhe tha!

chotha mai karna bhool gia!

paanchwa mujhe nazar nhe aya!

chatta paper ki pichle taraf tha,

maine dekha he nhe!

Baap ghusy mai bola: aur dosra?

Beta: bus srf wohi galat hua hai. . ;->

Love SMS Messages - LoVe PlUs

"I''ll give you the moon at night

I''ll give you star that lights your eyes

I''ll give you the sun that made just one more dawn


So another day may come

I''ll give you my heart and soul

I''ll be there to catch you when you fall

When you ask me what I give to you

Girl I''ll give it all"

Marry Me Sweetheart

Funny SMS Messages - Kanjoos Aadmi ek hotel

If MQM goes to Jannat, the News will be:

* 25 Janti gun-point per Mobile se mehroom.

* Aaj 20 Hooron ki chooriyan utarwa li gayen. Hoorain dehshat-zda.

* 17 Farishton se Shrab-e-Tahoor zabardasti cheen li gaye.

* Bhatta na dene per Jannat ka Darogha qatal. Uss ki bori-band Lash Shehed ki neher se bar-aamad.

* Altaf bhai na jahanam-ul-haram se telephonic khatab karte huye jantiyon ko Muttahid aur pur-aman rahne ki talqeen ki hai.